Commit to What You Really Want, and How You Talk About It
Why do we always feel like we have to categorize our eating plan, what we're eating or not eating? Do you ever feel like a friend who chooses not to drink wine or eat fried food is being uptight? Or are they being disciplined?
Do you ever struggle with whether or not to "let yourself off the hook" and skip the gym or have an extra cookie? Or are you being too easy on yourself and giving up on your healthy eating efforts?
Where is the line drawn between giving up on something or letting yourself "live" a little?
The answer lies deeper. The answer lies where your ultimate goal lies. What is your priority? Is it more important to sleep better tonight, knowing you won't have a headache from drinking or a bellyache from overeating, be more focused for work and kids tomorrow, and ultimately, get closer to your weight loss goals? Or is it more important for you to enjoy your time out with friends and worry about the rest tomorrow?
Usually, you know the answer. You know what is best for you, your body, and your life. You know what you really want. But there's fear or disbelief inside you that holds you back.
You could say that you are trying to do something, you're wishing for something to happen, you could or should be doing something. But shoulds aren't going to get you very far.
I am relistening to a book by Jen Sincero called "You're a Badass at Making Money" and out of the whole book, the below examples of self-talk have stuck with me the most. And I found their descriptions in this article on CNBC.COM here.
Certain common phrases are particularly limiting. Here are eight that Sincero says to watch out for, in yourself and the people you surround yourself with:
“I want” is another way of saying “I lack”
“I wish” is another way of saying “I’m not in control,” which is disempowering
“I need” is another way of saying “I lack”
“I can’t” is self-explanatory
“I’m trying” implies you’re not committed
“I hope” implies it might happen or it might not, which shows you lack faith
“I should” implies maybe you won’t or don’t want to
“I don’t know” slams the door shut on finding out
Here’s what you should be saying instead, says Sincero:
“I’m grateful for”
“Make the commitment to become aware of your language,” writes Sincero. “Get practiced at taking deep breaths before you speak. This will give you the space to stop, notice what was about to come out of your mouth and course correct if needed.”
And if you say, "I will," then you have no choice but to do it.